lazy day

This was taken outside my bedroom window.  Note the extremely disgruntled expression on Mr. White since I inadvertently disturbed his siesta...

love, love, love

I am a sucker for mary janes and oxfords.  Any and all permutations and I want all the colors!  Probably a manifestation of my Catholic schoolgirl years, even if my uniform at that time looked more like a French maid...think ruffled shirt under a jumper instead of a short, pleated, plaid skirt...talk about frustration.

 Fendi F/W 2011 from TalkShoes.com

Dolce & Gabbana F/W 2011 from TalkShoes.com

no words

Chanel.  Haute Couture 2011.  The PERFECT shades of silver and grey.  I am again thinking of getting grey highlights, even if everyone around me is screaming "No!!!".

image from vogue.fr

love-hate

LOVES:

1. That the left side neighbors are using the bells again. Hopefully it lasts until after Christmas.

2. The SC bag by Louis Vuitton in Jasper - because it doesn't scream

3. The irony of the censorship system being used on the Hurricane video of 30 Seconds to Mars; violence can only be shown after 7PM, sex after 9PM and anything bondage-y, after 10PM. (Actual letter) Since when did violence become the lesser evil?

HATES:

1. That RockMelt keeps reverting to google.com.ph

2. The thought of January and a Carine Roitfeld-less French Vogue (NY Times)

3. The name - Heel Condoms; The idea is inspired but I keep flashing to a NY alley and snagged on my stilettos.

thought

There was a crimson underwing moth flying around the house yesterday.  It kept flying at me which totally freaked me out.  I can do insects as long as they don't fly at me.  I believe that moths carry the souls of the dead which is why I avoid killing them.  I really didn't want to kill this particular one because of my ink.  This is more than coincidence.  Call me crazy (and you wouldn't be the first) but I think this means something.  I looked it up and the Catocala are commonly found in Eurasia and North America.  There are some species in Thailand and Borneo but rarely in Manila.

Symbolic meanings for the moth ranges from dreams, perception, intuition, awareness, adjustment to concealment and protection.

Can I ask the universe to not be so cryptic?  My track record is a little spotty when it comes to reading the signs.  Like I said, my crystal ball has been very fuzzy of late.

choosing

Grey's Anatomy Season 6 Episode 11 - I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked

Cristina asked Meredith; "If you had to choose between the thing you love to do and the person you love, which would you choose?"

Case summary: An opera singer is admitted complaining of bronchitis.  Diagnosis: Pleural Mesothelioma (Cancer of the membrane lining the lungs and chest cavity)  Possible courses of action: Removal of affected pleura and/or pneumonectomy plus chemotherapy and radiation.

Patient's reply: "I sing, it's my entire life...I’m big.  Too big.  I don’t fit in airplane seats.  And, as Jeff is always telling me, my feelings don’t always fit the situation.  If my food is overcooked in a restaurant, I get enraged.  I want to kill the waiter.  But I don’t.  I politely ask him to take my meal back and bring it to me the way I asked for it.  I spend my days making myself smaller.  Acceptable.  And that’s okay.  Because at night, when I go onstage, I get to experience the world the way I feel it.  With indescribable rage.  And unbearable sadness.  And huge passion.  At night, onstage, I get to kill the waiter and dance on his grave.  And if I can’t do that, if all I have left is a life of making myself smaller, then I don’t want to live.”

The whole "Be Yourself" schtick has been peddled from here to Timbuktu in a gazillion books and movies.  They can present it in a dozen, different ways or in a hundred, different languages but I think that opera singer said it best.  The world tells you to be true to who you really are but what if your real SELF is not something the world finds "nice" or deems "acceptable" by the normal, social parameters?  Why does the world tell you to "Be Yourself"; but if that self does not fit into the mold, the world will try to break you and if you resist long enough, it rejects you like a broken cookie.

To the world: Stop contradicting yourself.  Stop forcing me into the mold.  Stop making me choose.  Stop insisting I make myself small.